"I can't do maths. I was always bad at it. Mum can't either." You say this, maybe jokingly, maybe as an excuse. They listen. And they internalise. Six years later they have their own maths anxiety, and you wonder why.
Maths anxiety is inherited. Not genetically — through parents' signals. This article shows how to avoid harming them, how to prevent anxiety, and how to turn it around if they already have it.
At Kluriko we see many children with maths anxiety come to the Learning Games — and most often it's not about maths difficulties but about maths relationship. That relationship is built at home.
What is maths anxiety?
Not just "maths is hard". It's physical reactions at maths tasks:
- Tension in the stomach
- A blank mind
- Tears
- "I can't" (before they even try)
- Avoidance behaviour
This is not that they're stupid. It's that the brain shuts down to protect them from discomfort.
Why does it arise?
1. Negative feedback at school. They get things wrong, the teacher looks disappointed, classmates smile. They link maths with shame.
2. Tasks too hard. They're given tasks 2-3 levels above their ability. Failures repeat.
3. Anxious parents. The most common cause. When you say "I never got maths", they learn maths is something you don't get.
4. Time pressure. Timed tests create anxiety. "You have 5 minutes to solve..." shrinks the brain.
5. Comparison. "Your sister found it so easy." Painful.
How to prevent
Rule 1: Never say "I can't do maths"
Never. Even if it's true. They take it on.
Say instead:
- "Maths is interesting."
- "I think maths is useful."
- "When I was little I learned maths, and you can learn it too."
Rule 2: Show mistakes as information
When they get it wrong: "Good! That's a common mistake. Let's see why."
Mistakes are information, not failures. Teach them that view.
Rule 3: No time pressure
Should they practise at home under time pressure? Never. Maths is thinking, not speed.
(At school it may happen. Help them afterwards without pressure.)
Rule 4: Don't compare
Ever.
Rule 5: Show maths in daily life
Kitchen maths, shop maths, clock maths. They see that maths is everyday and useful, not just textbooks.
See our kitchen maths article.
Rule 6: Celebrate progress
When they learn something new: "You couldn't do it last week, now you can. That's development." They see maths is learnable.
If they already have anxiety
Step 1: Stop the harm
Do no maths under pressure for a month. Just play-maths. Kitchen maths. Board games.
They need to discharge their negative association.
Step 2: Rebuild the relationship
Show them easier tasks. They manage. They get success. They start to believe they can do maths.
Step 3: Address the feeling
Talk about maths: "It's OK to find it tough. Many feel that way. Doesn't mean you can't."
Normalise the feeling without normalising the anxiety.
Step 4: Find them-in-the-maths
What do they like? Pokémon? Dinosaurs? Football? Build maths around it. "There are 18 players on the pitch, one is substituted. How many left?" Maths in the context of joy.
Step 5: Talk to the teacher
If maths anxiety persists — contact the teacher. Tell them. Ask for a strategy: tasks at the right level, not above.
Step 6: Be patient
Maths anxiety takes months to turn around, not weeks. Be consistent. Be positive. Don't push.
The adult's own maths anxiety
Many parents have it themselves. It spreads.
What you can do:
- Be aware. Notice when you say "I can't do maths". Pause.
- Work on yourself. Khan Academy for adults is free. Take a course.
- Show willingness. "I'm not sure about this. Let's look together." They see adults also learn.
- Ask for help. Ask a friend or relative who's good at maths to help them sometimes.
You don't need to be a maths expert to support them. You just need to not harm.
Maths is not talent
Maths anxiety builds on the myth that some people "have" maths, others don't. This is wrong.
Research clearly shows:
- Maths skill is learnable with the right practice.
- There's no "maths brain" some have.
- Differences between kids are often about exposure, not ability.
Tell them this. Tell yourself this.
Girls' maths anxiety
Studies show girls in Sweden have more maths anxiety than boys. Not because they're worse — because culture has taught them they are.
If you have a daughter: be extra aware. Actively say: "You're good at maths. You'll get this." Not just pep — intervention.
What teachers should know
If you suspect their teacher is contributing to maths anxiety (comparisons, time pressure, mocking tone), talk to the head. Not taboo. The school should create a learning environment, not anxiety.
How Kluriko helps
Kluriko Learning Games are designed to be low-stakes. No timers. No comparisons. Just play. They make progress without stress. Anti-anxiety maths training.